I’ve tripped on mushrooms, danced with Mother Ayahuasca, did MDMA, LSD, and know my ABCs…

AND I know nothing (while also knowing I know exactly enough).

I’ve done talk therapy, infrared therapy, contrast therapy, hypnotherapy, and psychotherapy.

I’ve tripped on mushrooms, danced with Mother Ayahuasca (so many times I’ve lost count), did MDMA, LSD, and know my ABCs…

I’ve sat with Father Iboga, and have been inflicted with frog poison. I’ve done sound journeys, gong healings, and sacred garden walks.

I practice and teach yoga, Breathwork, visualization, and meditation. I’ve immersed myself in kundalini shamanic drum circles, and energy initiations and trainings.

I did the Tony Robbins thing and walked on fire, learned how to master abundance via affirmations and muscle testing (ha!), and have done more coffee, chlorophyll, and garlic enemas than I like to recall.

I’ve tried juice fasts, colon cleanses, and keto.

I’ve sought to find the truth in my palms, my tarot, and way out in my akashic records..

Embodiment trainings, detox certifications, plant based chef courses, and raw food indoctrinations; all complete. I have a therapist, a spiritual medium, a coach and a guru.

And I still don’t know WTF I am doing.

Once, during a workshop I was facilitating, I guided the group in some partner work where we shared “parts” of us.

The idea of the exercise was to allow our shadow side to be witnessed and held in unconditional acceptance; to give voice to our subconscious, and the possible limiting beliefs and stories that lived there.

Unexpectedly, what came up for me that morning was my “imposter syndrome”. My unconscious belief that I am not worthy of teaching, don’t know enough, and will never know enough.

While my partner did nothing but what a great coach and person I am, it got me thinking about how it really doesn’t matter how much we think we know; when it comes to understanding this wild world, most of us are merely scratching the surface.

Looking back I can see that even from an early age (way back in the 90s) I was a seeker. Poetry written by 16 year old me spanning topics such as death and suicide; to time being our friend, eternal essence, to curiosity about the afterlife and the meaning of life.

I’m a 5:1 in human design and therefore I know I’m often seen as someone that has all the answers AND I can get insecure when I don’t feel I know enough.

My whole life I’ve searched for knowing; wanting to “figure it all out” for all of us. 😅

So my work has been to learn how to feel secure from within so I don’t NEED to depend on all the external validation and constant learning.

And also; I’ve done some shit in the name of sorting out the secrets of life. 👽 🤮 💩 🔥

I’m grateful for the path that I’ve chosen and all of the beauty I’ve been able to see beyond the naked eye and the physical world.

AND I know nothing (while also knowing I know exactly enough).